Letting it Go - A Starseed's view of the foolishness and harm of holding grudges.
Letting It Go
Hi Guys,
You know, I have been wondering a lot lately about all these stories that the ETs have brought through to us on this channel and how amazing and diverse life is throughout the universe - so many other planets and realms to visit and incarnate onto and into - and it’s got me thinking about how this earth is a perfect place for learning and facing issues and limitations, but is not necessarily the best place to come for a peaceful happy life. For that you’d probably want to try one of these worlds mentioned in the videos. Anyway, as I was considering all this, it brought to mind all of the obstacles people face here and can learn from and I realized how important it could be to take advantage of being here while we’re here and what we could do to truly advance our souls while here on earth with all it’s base challenges, emotional pains and suffering and that while we have these human bodies we might as well do everything we can to evolve in consciousness before moving on into the higher realms. And one of the first things that came to me, because of how prevalent it is here and how many lives are destroyed by this, are people who hold a grudge against another and allow it to go on and on festering and never find what it takes to get beyond their anger or judgement against the other. It just shocks me how common this is and why they can’t just forgive and let it go. After meditating on this for awhile, I realized that this subject just might be one of the most important things we could address in this lifetime.
Oddly, this same topic has been coming up a lot lately in conversations with others, where they tell me about a family member or friend who hasn’t spoken to their relative or friend for years because of some trivial misunderstanding and it’s totally ruined their relationships. I hear about this so often. My discomfort with it is how foolish it is. I mean, holy moly this is just a game, a movie ...but even if you aren’t aware of that, you’re alive and what’s more important than the quality of your existence? Why mess it up with some silly grudge? What’s more important than being at peace with yourself and others? Besides what else do you have to do? Really? It seems to me that this now moment, this very lifetime is the perfect place to grow up and address issues just like these ... anyway, I’ve been having trouble understanding why someone would be willing to die holding onto some petty grievance simply out of stubbornness. What’s going on there?
I guess the thing that’s been getting to me is, as a starseed for example, what an impediment - what a barrier this is to your own frequency, your own eventual ascension. Seriously this is why we come here to face these limitations and release them - to grow in consciousness to learn about ourselves and decide who we want to be. I mean really ...okay say you have a friend or relative and something you unknowingly did hurt them or made them angry in some way and you have no idea what you did, they just stopped talking to you or maybe one day they just lash out at you, telling you how horrible you are - either way they’re obviously upset and may have even complained to others about you - maybe they have a good reason or maybe it’s just in their personality to gossip or be judgmental and good luck hoping to change that! Anyway ... they may just be jealous or resentful because you are who you are. But it’s up to you to realize that from their perspective, you did something to them and their anger is completely justified and maybe you did or said something hurtful without even realizing it. So let’s say in this scenario, you try to fix it. You apologize and ask to be forgiven, but they ignore this gesture even if you continue to try. What can you do?
Well I remember watching ...it might have been Wayne Dyer or someone else who had some wisdom and he was discussing this point, where there has been a long- standing grudge that has alienated friends or family members, destroying the relationship. Well ...he explained that when something like this goes on and on without a solution, someone must finally step up and be the hero - be willing to ask themselves, how can I make this better? What can I do? He said, someone must be willing to take the blame, even if that person isn’t responsible for the grudge, they must have the courage to be the bad-guy ...or seen as the bad-guy anyway - to take it all on - to accept full responsibility and apologize as if it were they who caused the entire situation. This is courage - enlightenment - wisdom - this is humility and this is what we all can be. If we can just get over ourselves. I mean, it sounds good and is definitely a lot easier if we understand how important it is - that if we don’t handle it in this current incarnation, we’re just going to have to come back and do it all over again until we do get it. I don’t know about you, but I do not want to have to come back and readdress all of my issues. No thanks!
So luckily, in my own life, I have faced very little of this sort of situation, however, those that I have come across have significantly changed my approach to life and my sensitivities to others. I have faced this dilemma twice, two different times, yet ironically, nearly at the same time, one on top of the other, for some reason. Guess it was my time to deal with the challenge - let’s face it, no one likes to be judged, deservedly or not deservedly.
So in my case, both situations were very similar. I had somehow managed to unknowingly, no excuses, antagonize these two individuals, through something I said or did. In both cases again, I was accused of ignoring them or their needs. In one case the person felt that because I had not picked up the phone when they called, that I didn’t want to talk to them. Not True. In the other case I had casually mentioned that I would sit with this person on a plane trip and instead ended up sitting in another seat. I honestly had no idea this would be hurtful, but I should have put myself in their place and on reflection I can understand that it was hurtful. It would have hurt me...
One of the main setbacks here was that this person didn’t inform me of what I had done and that they were very upset with me, I just noticed their resentment and aversion toward me. I asked if they were angry with me and they denied it which made it really confusing because they still displayed a real obvious animosity. After some time, when I did discover what I had done, I felt terrible and immediately apologized, but the damage was done and that relationship harmed irreparably.
In both cases, I tried everything I could think of, wrote email after email, sent cards letters, had phone conversations, but they just weren’t having it - nothing did any good. I cried many tears over this and mediated on it over and over again. Then I realized, if this wounded soul were myself, what would help? What would I need, from this person who had hurt me. Suddenly it became obvious to me. I would need them to see it from my perspective and take full responsibility for ignoring me. As soon as this came to me, I remembered those wise words and decided to allow myself to be the bad-guy who had thoughtlessly hurt them. So again, in both cases, I apologized from their position, their viewpoint, and said something like, “you know, you are totally right, I get it, I really messed up and I deeply regret hurting you, I can only imagine how you must have felt and I am so very sorry and just hope that someday you can forgive me.” And I left it at that. In one case it worked and we became close again, in the other case they were not able to forgive me. What can ya do ...it is what it is.
The thing is, I have so many other friends or family that these two things would never have bothered them at all and they probably would have even made a joke about it like, “Yeah, so maybe next time I call you’ll actually answer the phone, ha!” Or in the other case, “Oh well, I didn’t really want to sit with you anyway, it gave me time to talk to someone interesting, haha!” That would have been great, but that said, some people are just more sensitive than others and tend to take things more personally, more seriously. That’s okay, I get it, been there myself many times.
What I’m trying to say is this, holding a grudge when it could easily be remedied by yourself is, not only foolish, but harmful - harmful to you and your vibration and harmful to so many others it touches. Remember, it is a spiritual truth that when directing hostility out toward another, that harmful vibration is sent directly back to you 10 fold! It’s time to be greater than our limitations. As I said, if not now, when? It’s a perfect time to shine out our love to all, especially those who we may have hurt or those who have hurt us. They deserve our light too.
There’s an even deeper element to all this. We are at some point, all going to die, or go home and when we do, we take who we are, we take ourselves with us, just as we are, with all our warts and weaknesses. It’s not like we suddenly become someone else, some great enlightened master, we are who we are. So it’s imperative to take these precious days to develop the you that you want to be, as a soul. I’m pretty sure that none of us want to have to go back to kindergarten, as it is, and learn it all over again, just to get back to where we are now. That could take another lifetime or several lifetimes. Speaking for myself, not me, no way. I want to do as much as I can in this life and take it all back with me, all the wisdom gained. And one of the most significant impediments to happiness and peace, is this very issue.
Another important matter is releasing guilt while we’re still here. It can be so detrimental to our soul for us to hold on to that regret and guilt over what we’ve done in the past, playing it over and over in our minds. This is really destructive. Guilt helps no one and can greatly lower our frequency. It’s just as important to forgive ourselves and simply do better from now on. Don’t spend any time on regret, just build the soul from this moment on.
I know we can do this. I know how hard these things are to admit to ourselves, but we all have these shadows within us. It doesn’t make us bad. We are both the darkness and the light. We came here to face this duality, face our weaknesses and overcome them. This is our work here, to decide which side we wish to land on and develop. This is our gift of an earthly life - let’s make the very best of every moment we have left in this wonderful crazy life as a human and lift our dream as high as we possibly can. Hugs!