Authentic Self

Hey guys, I just have something rolling around in my head and I thought I take a sec to sit and babble about it a bit. I was talking with a friend the other day about authenticity and what that means at its deepest level. I’ve know this friend for many years and we’ve seen each other through several versions of self and have watched ourselves grow more all the time into our authentic selves. We began the conversation by commenting on the fact that we both used to have very short hair and now we’ve let our hair grow long and feel that it’s a reflection on who we’ve become over these past few years.

Y’know, we take on so many roles in life, child, teenage, mother father, career person, grandparent and so forth. And we also behave differently with different people. Like for instance, I can talk to my son about things I would never mention to my sister - and talk to my sister about those certain things I would never share with my son - even some of the language I would feel comfortable using with my sister would embarrass my son …and no I don’t mean foul language or cursing. I don’t use that language with anyone. I’m talking more about, you know, girl talk. I could never use the word vagina around my son, he would die! Uh-oh, he’s probably going to freak - I might have to edit that out, HA!

Anyway, my friend and I were talking about how we put on masks around some people and not with others. Even our siblings, our family, will often hold us in the same place we were when we were a child and still look at us as if we were that same person and may have no idea who we are now. That’s why the holidays are so hard, or can be for some families. So should you go to the trouble of trying to bring them along with you into your current life or is this even something they really want? I mean, if you feel much freer when you’re not with them. What does that say? Maybe you’re only comfortable around your newer friends or the family members you’ve kept up with over the years. I think a feeling of resistance most probably indicates that we’re not really being our genuine self.

For me, if I’m with others and I just feel like running away, usually that’s something I’ve done out of obligation. A lot of it seems to be pretty obvious, yet most of the time we ignore those signals that show us something is not quite in balance. In different situations, I’ve been asking myself, is this really me? Do I really want to be here - to do this? Does the way I behave with these people match up with my own values and beliefs. Do I act differently with them? Then who is my authentic self? What is that? And how do we know we’re being that - and do we slip in and out of that self, authentic one minute and very human the next, depending upon the situation? So, does our vibration rise with some friends and lower with others - or can we hold our light in either case?

I mean, we do have different roles and therefore personality traits as needed through life. For example you may feel free to act playful and childlike with your boyfriend or husband, but not with your colleagues.

Are we afraid of being judged or not liked if we reveal our true self to someone who has only seen one part of ourselves, like a co-worker? Or like, would we feel free to smoke or drink or joke-around in front of our parents or our churchgoing prim and proper aunt so-and-so?

When I was talking to my friend, we were going over how many versions of self there are over a lifetime. Like for myself, what “me” am I most comfortable with? I loved being with my husband, because I could be me with him …the me in any mood or disposition. And I can be most of me with my son, but there are certain things that I’m uncomfortable with, like I’m embarrassed to cry in front of him, because it hurts him and he wants to fix it. I can also be parts of myself in front of my sister, but not the genuine spiritual self, so hmmm …I suppose that’s not really being fully authentic. Then there is just daily life. For example, let’s say a neighbor, who I have nothing in common with, someone tied to current events, likes to sit around drinking wine and talking politics. Let’s say she invites me over for dinner. Well, to be totally honest, I can tell you right now, I don’t want to go. I know I would be bored stiff and uncomfortable not knowing what to say, because we live in two different worlds. She watches mainstream news and believes it and does what it tells her to do! The opposite in many ways of myself. Does this mean I’m better than her? No, of course not, but it probably means I won’t be having dinner with her.

There are so many times that I’ve been really upset with myself for giving into a situation and then being absolutely miserable the entire time and after the fact getting angry with myself for not being honest enough, then ending up putting myself into another unpleasant circumstance that is worlds of vibration away from my true self.

So what do I do? I think I’m finally beginning to learn to stand by my own truth, but to do it as kindly as possible. Not ending up always saying yes to things I really don’t want to do. I think that inharmonious resistance is very harmful to the body …to let people walk all over you just to be liked. We need to listen to our emotions.These emotions may be messages that need to be healed. If we’re not confident, we’re weak and vulnerable to others taking advantage of us. And if we only put forward our happy perfect self all the time, no one will ever know the authentic me.

Maybe we should ask ourself, if I was trying to impress another person, what attributes would I admit to and what about myself would I not want that other person to know? For example, like what would you put in a dating profile or a character analysis, where you have to describe who you are? I doubt anyone really tells the entire truth. They may tell somethings that are accurate, but probably not everything.

So, what about spiritually, like for a starseed who has always known who they are on an ethereal level and knows themselves to be a brilliant light-being, so constantly feels the pressure to act out that required or expected role. But what if we’re not feeling it? What if we’re having a bad day? Are we afraid if we show our true feelings that we won’t be fulfilling our purpose, our mission? Well, if we ourselves aren’t even able to accept those parts of ourself, that’s a lot of pressure. Do we try to be spiritual when we’re upset or angry or depressed. I don’t think that’s being authentic. Seriously, being authentic doesn’t mean we’re always on our best behavior - it just means having the courage to be honest with our emotions and sharing how we really feel about a subject or situation, even if it might be unpopular with someone else.

And I’m not talking about being stupid or brash, deciding we need to tell it like it is in every case. Uh well, I suppose there might be some who think that it is their true nature to be a grumpy old man or a bitchy lady. No, that’s not the authenticity I’m talking about. What I’m actually getting at here is, who are you at your core? Well, of course at your very highest self you are an angelic beautiful light-being of pure love - a fragment of God/Source. But I’m talking about who we are at our best human self - the self we are while we’re here in this earthly life.

So I guess what it comes down to is to do our best to be our authentic self, but within the perimeters of considerate and friendly behavior. And don’t fluctuate back and forth from one personality to another. Who is the real you? I think we could ask ourself what we don’t like about ourself and why and where it comes from and what we are afraid of. Will they not like me - will I be humiliated? The way I see it, we need to be courageous, because if we allow ourself to be manipulated by our fears, that they won’t accept me the way I am, I will never be free!

Well, I suppose I could go on and on here, but mostly what I wanted, was to express my feelings about authenticity and what it means for us at this stage in our lives on planet earth …and it feels to me, that there might not ever be a better time to discover and express that authentic self, not only to self, but kindly to others and see where we all land. If I’m honest with my neighbor, for instance, in the kindest way possible, I strongly feel she would understand where I’m coming from. If we all just agree to be ourselves, but at our kindest most compassionate self, no one is going to be harmed or get their feelings hurt. I think being our authentic self is the next big step in creating that harmonious society we all crave to live in.

Well, blah blah blah, enough for now! Thanks for listening!