The Hermit Phase

Hello! So ...why do some of us crave a solitary life and others feel a need to be more social, always with others? This is a topic I’ve dealt with for most of my life. My sister once referred to me as an introvert, my husband called me a non-conformist, one of my friends teased me about being what she called a lone wolf, another friend recently said I was becoming too much of a “recluse”, as if it were a real problem. The way she put it was that I might as well be a hermit in a cave. Actually, I just thought of myself as an individual ..who yes, required a lot of alone-time.

The truth is I suppose I am and always have been, an outsider, a loner - mostly because I’m just not as interested in what those around me are. For myself, I don’t really see this as a problem. I’m just not necessarily attracted to the usual get-togethers or parties or crowded social situations. It’s not that I’m in any way judging those things, it’s more that I’m not comfortable in those circumstances. Just not my cup of tea, so to speak. I mean, I guess I just don’t really feel much need to be all that social, yet I totally understand how much fun this can be and certainly don’t judge any of it at all. Admittedly, I’m the weird one here, not the majority.

Personally, I think we should all give each other permission to live the way we choose and allow everyone else to do that same thing. It shouldn’t make me, or them, wrong. Yet that’s the way I’ve often felt. I mean, not always, I do remember when I was younger, family celebrations that were a lot of fun, when we would all get together, but in that case no one ever made me feel wrong or different for not wanting a beer or a glass of wine, for example. They were used to me and allowed me to be who I am. However you know, when you get around strangers, it can be a whole different thing. I remember being at a neighborhood BBQ where everyone was drinking and eating burgers and ribs and there I was with my water bottle and a tofu burger and I got a lot of curious comments, until one woman came up to me and said, “Oh don’t worry about it hon, there’s one in every family.” I thought to myself, “What? There’s one in every family? You mean a black sheep, right?” I doubt that was supposed to be a positive remark. No wonder I’d rather be home alone. Oh well, it does make a good discussion topic if nothing else.

I have always craved my alone-time. My mother used to tell about when I was a child and we had company, I would hide under the desk or behind the couch and if I heard the others laughing I was sure they were laughing at me. One time I ran up to my mom crying, telling her to make them stop laughing at me. Well of course she assured me they weren’t laughing at me - they probably didn’t even know I was around.

I don’t mean to make it sound like I’ve always been unsocial, no, after high school when I went on to get my degree, I was pretty outgoing and had a lot of friends I would sometimes hang out with. However, there was always that moment when I had to get away by myself. It’s odd, but being in solitude is the only time I feel really like myself, like me. Now, whether it’s working in the yard, or writing, hiking, dancing around the house by myself, or just sitting quietly or staring out the window. I’m embarrassed to say how many times I have not answered the door when someone rang the doorbell. I don’t do it to be rude, I just don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Yet what baffles me is that nearly every time when I do give in and accept the social visit or event, I always get something out of it and it might even at some point become a precious memory and this makes me ponder whether it’s exactly these situations we most learn from, so am I shying away from those exact situations I should be welcoming? Hmmm...

During my deepest and most transformative moments out of body or in meditation, in all those visions or visitations, I’ve been alone, like standing on a high cliff above the ocean or walking in a field of clover, or jogging along the beach, it’s always just me. I do however, have lucid dreams where I’m with a lot of other people, but those are a little different and don’t seem quite as high frequency as those other solitary moments. ...Or the weirdest was when I was in an out-of-body state and was trudging up a steep hill and at one point looked up and there was a sort of a ceiling above me and it took me a moment to realize that it was my skull - I was walking up the frontal cortex of my brain! Wow!

Anyway, one of the most puzzling part about these hermit tendencies, is that much of my life I’ve been in situations with others, you know, like in school, with family or friends and have really enjoyed those moments. For example I remember times with my younger sister when we were laughing so hard I would pee my pants. We had so much fun and I treasure those moments as much as any - or sitting across from my husband in a crowded coffee house talking for hours on end, or driving or hiking together. And when my son was growing up we played together like two kids. Yet the weird thing about some of these times, or others, I have felt a little like a fraud, like I’m not being me, like I’m sort of a human caricature of my true self ...and yet as a walk-in, isn’t this exactly what I signed up for? It’s like living in two different worlds, they’re both great, but very different and you know I’ve heard this is often the case for one who has walked-in to another’s life. Nonetheless, I’m not complaining about any of it and definitely wouldn’t trade any of those moments. I’m just making a point here of a deep and persistent desire for privacy and solitude.

So, is this normal for a starseed, to be a hermit? And is it okay to crave solitude? Well as I say, I have wondered about this, because when I experienced my NDE I was told that my mission here was to support and encourage humanity by maintaining a cheerful high frequency. And to be truthful, I do this best by having a life that allows me to choose when I want to be with others and when I don’t. For years I’ve asked myself, is it only me who feels this way and is there something wrong with me? When the rest of the world seems to want to be in social situations, parties, celebrations ...always wanting to be with others. Hey let’s go to a movie, or a concert, or a game! And I feel like a total party-poop, because I’m always letting everyone down. At some point, I’m sure they’re going to give up on me. That said, I have discovered other starseeds who feel very much like I do and require a lot of their own alone-time, yet maybe no one quite as fanatical about it as myself. Who knows...?

So lately I’ve been researching this a bit and have discovered that when a person is going through a spiritual advancement or ascension there is a phase of this evolution that has come to be known as the “hermit-phase”. Hmmm, It seems there are a few of us who have preferred to remain in that phase!

Anyway, it’s said that this hermit-phase is almost an inevitable part of growing and developing in consciousness. As most of us know quite well, who are going through this sort of shift in consciousness, this transformational process can be very painful, because there is so much loss - loss of our entire reality as we learn that pretty much everything we’ve been taught on this planet has been a lie. And as we try to bring our friends and family along with us on this road, we find the majority have no real interest in coming along on our journey. In fact they think we’re crazy - that we’ve lost it and don’t make any sense anymore and this can cause great suffering as we learn the necessity of letting go of nearly everything that has become familiar over our lifetime and surrendering to the truth of who we really are - our authentic self.

This hermit phase can be extremely lonely and bewildering and the only comfort must come from self - as we realize that this is profoundly the truth of ascension. Ascension or expansion of consciousness is a solitary journey and no one else can do it for us. This is why some of us feel so much more comfortable alone, because we don’t contradict ourselves, we don’t need to prove anything to ourself. We can just sit alone and feel whole - where in a crowd we may feel isolated and fragmented.

In any case, it is important to have time alone to integrate what we’re learning and to be able to incorporate it into the self that embodies this life. We need to discover ways to not separate ourselves from others, but to bring our frequency and knowledge to others in ways that don’t alienate or discourage them from their own sacred path, which may in some cases be entirely different than our own. Still we could find ways to make them feel good about themselves - to raise their confidence, so the gap between our own way of life and theirs doesn’t separate us from being able to love and respect each other. It’s never our job to force our views on another, and within that, to be able to read the other and discern their readiness. It’s important to listen and to be able to intuit how much, if anything, we might want to share. I mean, are they interested? Do they really want to know what we have to say?

It seems to me that a big part of our job is to encourage and inspire others in whatever way we can, while finding a way to remain true to who we know ourselves to be. Even within my own desire for solitude, I do recognize that this is no longer a time to hide or separate ourselves from those who may feel differently. For example, it should no longer be embarrassing or awkward to admit freely and straightforwardly who we are. It’s a time to reveal the highest and most honorable side of our true being. We have to acquire the ability to integrate both sides of the equation, social and solitary.

So, is it okay or even natural for a starseed or light-warrior to crave solitude? Absolutely. In fact as I see it now, it’s imperative to our ability to stay healthy, to revive and preserve our composure, our serenity, our peace mind. Each moment spent alone can open us to a higher state of frequency and intuition, as we become reconnected with our own guidance and higher self. So yeah, don’t worry if you feel the need to withdraw a bit from many of those aspects of daily life you used to really enjoy and maybe opt for a solitary walk in nature or a cup of hot chocolate while watching the birds or listening to music. There can be something so mystical about those moments spent just sitting on the grass staring out at the scenery and discovering inspiration from the simple purity of it all.

Anyway, just a few thoughts that have been rolling around in my head. Let me know what you think!

Thanks again guys, bye bye.